A Stab at Life
A Stab at Life

I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

A Stab at Life
A Stab at Life

madisonkimrey:

Ladies, if you are treating gentlemen like this, shame on you. You’re already miserable and are just setting yourself up for further misery. Try focusing on yourself instead of trying to make some guy as miserable as you are.

http://functionalhumanbeing.blogspot.com/2014/06/dysfunctional-human-beings.html

madisonkimrey:

Ladies, if you are treating gentlemen like this, shame on you. You’re already miserable and are just setting yourself up for further misery. Try focusing on yourself instead of trying to make some guy as miserable as you are. http://functionalhumanbeing.blogspot.com/2014/06/dysfunctional-human-beings.html

madisonkimrey:

Ladies, if you are treating gentlemen like this, shame on you. You’re already miserable and are just setting yourself up for further misery. Try focusing on yourself instead of trying to make some guy as miserable as you are.

http://functionalhumanbeing.blogspot.com/2014/06/dysfunctional-human-beings.html


Source madisonkimrey
A Stab at Life

madisonkimrey:

Dear Sarah Palin,

Usually, I’ll read about some things you said and laugh. I’m not laughing today. The reason I’m not laughing today, Sarah, is that I’m a young woman who actually cares about my country.

http://samuel-warde.com/2014/06/sarah-palin-let-tell-see-house/

Ms. Kimrey, I hope to see your name on my ballot one day. #Kimrey2036

madisonkimrey:

Dear Sarah Palin, Usually, I’ll read about some things you said and laugh. I’m not laughing today. The reason I’m not laughing today, Sarah, is that I’m a young woman who actually cares about my country. http://samuel-warde.com/2014/06/sarah-palin-let-tell-see-house/

Ms. Kimrey, I hope to see your name on my ballot one day. #Kimrey2036

madisonkimrey:

Dear Sarah Palin,

Usually, I’ll read about some things you said and laugh. I’m not laughing today. The reason I’m not laughing today, Sarah, is that I’m a young woman who actually cares about my country.

http://samuel-warde.com/2014/06/sarah-palin-let-tell-see-house/

Ms. Kimrey, I hope to see your name on my ballot one day. #Kimrey2036


Source madisonkimrey
A Stab at Life

madisonkimrey:

There’s a reason certain people in power are taking specific action against the youth of this nation. They are afraid. They know what will happen if we show up. But they are not afraid enough.

The time has come. We need to get loud. We need to stop waiting for our seat and start kicking over tables. We need to stop accepting excuses and start pushing for solutions.

Rights are not given. They are demanded. Policies are enacted by those who are elected. The future will not wait for us. It’s time to wake up, shake things up, and most importantly, show up.

http://samuel-warde.com/2014/06/message-young-americans-wake/

madisonkimrey:

There’s a reason certain people in power are taking specific action against the youth of this nation. They are afraid. They know what will happen if we show up. But they are not afraid enough.

The time has come. We need to get loud. We need to stop waiting for our seat and start kicking over tables. We need to stop accepting excuses and start pushing for solutions.

Rights are not given. They are demanded. Policies are enacted by those who are elected. The future will not wait for us. It’s time to wake up, shake things up, and most importantly, show up.

http://samuel-warde.com/2014/06/message-young-americans-wake/


Source madisonkimrey
A Stab at Life

madisonkimrey:

Skip Stam distributed a handout on the floor of the NC Legislature comparing homosexuality to being aroused by urine and feces and an amendment designed to prevent discrimination by charter schools on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation was tabled. I think we should rub his nose in it. His contact information is included at the bottom of the article.

http://samuel-warde.com/2014/06/gop-lawmaker-compares-lgbt/

madisonkimrey:

Skip Stam distributed a handout on the floor of the NC Legislature comparing homosexuality to being aroused by urine and feces and an amendment designed to prevent discrimination by charter schools on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation was tabled. I think we should rub his nose in it. His contact information is included at the bottom of the article.

http://samuel-warde.com/2014/06/gop-lawmaker-compares-lgbt/


Source madisonkimrey
A Stab at Life
A Stab at Life

madisonkimrey:

To the readers: I would like to invite you to write the Post Script to this letter. Justice Ginsburg’s service in our judicial system has influenced us both collectively and individually. How has Justice Ginsburg influenced you? What will your contribution be as we move forward? What will you pledge in our fight for justice and equality?

http://www.theeverlastinggopstoppers.com/2014/07/open-letter-ruth-ginsburg-madison-kimrey/#prettyPhoto

madisonkimrey:

To the readers: I would like to invite you to write the Post Script to this letter. Justice Ginsburg’s service in our judicial system has influenced us both collectively and individually. How has Justice Ginsburg influenced you? What will your contribution be as we move forward? What will you pledge in our fight for justice and equality?

http://www.theeverlastinggopstoppers.com/2014/07/open-letter-ruth-ginsburg-madison-kimrey/#prettyPhoto


Source madisonkimrey
A Stab at Life